During the course of my day I receive clients who have concerns about whether or not their boyfriend is the right one for them.
You know the guy you're thinking about marrying is wrong for you if he has no friends, your parents and siblings don't like him, and his credit history doesn't check out.
Sometimes the best words of wisdom don't come from academics or scientists with impressive titles and educational credentials. Sometimes the best advice comes from people who have been there and done that or just see the real world.
Here are 17 signs that your boyfriend is NOT the one you should marry.
1. If your parents or siblings have doubts about him, pay attention. Listen and check it out.
2. If your intended has nothing good to say about his ex, beware. This is a pattern. Divorce is rarely only one person's fault.
3. If his children have nothing to do with him, do not believe him if he says his ex brainwashed them against him.
4. Look closely at his credit and job history. They are sure predictors of what your life will be like.
5. If he's over 30 lives with his mother and has no money, do not let him move in with you, and don't marry him until he's financially solvent. If he has any respect for you (and himself), he'll insist on it.
6. Be sure in your heart that you can live with him AS IS. You cannot change another person.
7. This is a biggie: Beware if he has no friends. It is not true that they all chose to side with his ex.
8. If your friends dislike him, pay attention. This is also true if he hates your friends.
9. If he has more than one DUI and still drinks, run!
10. If he is one personality at work or with others and another person alone with you, run.
11. If he has nothing to do with his parents, investigate why. Don't take his word for it.
12. If he's an expert at everything and brags a lot, understand that he will turn off a lot of people, eventually maybe even you.
13. If he has sexual problems, go with him to a doctor before you marry him. Believe me, his problem will become your problem.
14. If he is emotionally or verbally abusive, it will only get worse. Yelling, name-calling and glowering are classic signs of an abuser.
15. If he is never wrong and never apologizes, everything will be "your fault" forever. And after years of hearing it, you may even start to accept the blame.
16. If he does something wrong and says, "That wouldn't have happened if you hadn't (fill in the blank)," that's another sign of an abuser.
17. And if he's mean to children, pets, or animals, recognize that he's pathological, and the next victim could be you.
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